Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Destiny...

I got into a conversation with an old friend of mine the other day. This person isn't just any friend. He took me to my Senior Ball (which was one of the romantic things I can remember from my life). My WHOLE family considered him to be part of their family for a long time and I broke his heart because I was young and stupid. My whole family expected me to marry him someday... Little did they know...

This story starts about 10 years ago. My boyfriend, who is now my husband, moved away to Georgia while I stayed behind in California. He could not bear to move me away from my family (who were all in California) solely for him. He worried that I would resent him if our relationship did not work out so we decided to break up and remain friends. While he was gone, he and I both dated other people. I decided to revisit the affection I had for my old friend mentioned above. He and I had gotten close, again, after Ed left for Georgia. One night, we went to a club with my boss. My boss at the time was a very cool guy... Still is :) My friend danced with another girl and I spent the whole night upset and crying to my boss. In my mind, I remembered the night I broke his heart. I could remember it so vividly. I will never, ever, forget the look on his face that night. The night at the club I "knew" he would never let me in his heart again so I stopped trying. The next day my friend and I had a fight about the night before and I didn't speak to him again until after I eventually moved to Georgia. We never talked about that night, though, and until a few days ago I assumed everything was as I saw it. Come to find out it was not. In movies, there is usually a point where a decision is made or where the plot becomes definitive. The night at the club was that for me, but I did not see that until the other day. Had clear lines of communications been had, destiny would have played out very differently for my life and the lives of those now in mine.

I do not believe in soul mates in the traditional sense, if at all. If soul mates exist, I think it is our children who are our soul mates. The powers at be would have the ability to "plant the seed" so to speak rather than letting destiny guide you towards a single, solitary love. Let's examine the traditional idea of a soul mate, one person for each person. What if your soul mate dies? What if that person is halfway across the world and doesn't know how to communicate with you? The concept is flawed. But, destiny? I can see destiny being a reality. I cannot believe that the cosmic world we live in has no plan for humanity. I believe we have a direction but not a clear-cut answer. I do believe things happen for a reason, even the horrible. Had things been different that night at the club with my friend, my life might be drastically different. The 2 beautiful beings I helped create would not exist. I would not have the best mother-in-law in the whole world (though I would still have the best mother ;)). I would not have a man with whom I laugh at the stupidest things like an 18k gold plated feeyokioke. (That was an inside joke that no one will get but us LOL) I would not have my Muppet, nor would he have his Peege. I love my life. I love being Ed's wife. I love my children. I love every molecule of our quirky little family. I am truly happy. Thank you GOD for destiny!