Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

Today my heart is beating so fast I think it may explode. So MUCH is going on I cannot even begin to wonder what the hell I have gotten myself into. Last week I had 3 carpet companies give me in-home estimates. I weighed price against product and went with the lowest price since we will not be the ones enjoying the carpet anyway. It is a good carpet though

Also last week and yesterday I interviewed 3 realty agents/teams (I tried to set up meetings with 5 more but got no responses from them) so I could make a more educated decision about what path we should take in replacing our current agent. The first was a husband and wife team and when they left I felt like I had been drugged. They were strong minded, gave a powerful presentation and made me think I needed them and only them. They even called their carpet guy and undercut my lowest bid by $400! WOW! I needed THEM, right? Wrong… 2 days later I asked one of them to get the carpet guy to come over so I could see a sample of the carpet he intended to use. Somehow, it went from “We can get you a better deal than the one you have” to “If you SIGN with us we will extend to you the information. Until then, sit n spin”. And the tone changed in the conversation to insinuate that if we didn’t list our house at a price they deemed reasonable, they wouldn’t even offer us a contract. The GHB had worn off at that point and I needed a shower… Realtor #2 was a very nice guy but less prepared than the barracuda and her Boy Wonder. He had an idea of where he would like the house to be listed but no idea where he thought it may sell. He reminded me physically and socially of my father, which was odd but it made it easier to talk to him. He was cordial and seemed to know his stuff, he just didn’t invest the time in me or my home before hand that #1 an eventually #3 would. Before I met Realtor #3, #2 was it by default! When #3 came in I was worried. She was young and beautiful and I assumed maybe she didn’t have the experience. I should know better than to judge a book by a cover, but only time will tell if she can get the job done. She had prepared information in a similar fashion to #1 but didn’t offer the marketing #1 did citing specific reasons why; 0% yield is not the way to go and efforts/funds are better spent elsewhere. Just because a marketing plan seems grandiose doesn’t mean it is effective. She was very sweet, chatty (like #2) and seemed to care about all parties involved, including our current realtor. Sympathy and empathy go a long way in my book. I am not of the opinion that just because you need to get business done, you need to be brutal, pushy and step on others for your clients or for yourself. So, #3 is it and I will update you on that situation as soon as there is some to update.

The suggestion to repaint to neutral colors has been made more than once. Ed is not interested in spending the $ but I disagree. And instead of making this a 700 page essay I will leave it at that. So today I started getting estimates. One estimate was high, over the phone (didn’t even offer to see the rooms) and I wont be going with them. #2 is a friend of a friend and offered to do the patchwork for $50 when he came to do the estimate. #3 is a friend of my friend’s mother and he is coming tomorrow to give an estimate. I am waiting on 3 calls back for other estimates from recommendations from friends and neighbors. 6 estimates should be fine I think…

I cleaned the fridge, freezer and pantry of the junk but I still need to scrub the freezer and fridge next week. I have light packing to do of things that will be coming in my van as opposed to the moving van. I cannot start that until tomorrow when the pictures are done. I promised Jessie we would got to a movie tomorrow but as soon as that is done, hell begins.

Dinner will be out tomorrow with a neighbor, in tomorrow with another neighbor, at a friend’s home Friday, out Saturday and Sunday (more than likely) Then starting Monday I will be living with a neighbor for the week. Monday we get packed, Tuesday loaded (at this point I NEED to get loaded), Wednesday painting, Thursday carpet and Friday drive to Tampa…. Home… to my castle on the sand… with my BOYS!

Now, can someone buy my house in GA please?

Yesterday is lonelier

I wake where shadows are fewer
I sit where time is longer
I linger where days are harder
I lay where quiet is lonelier

I imagine the sighs are fewer
I remember the hugs are longer
I anticipate the kisses are harder
I hope that yesterday is lonelier

We are in for a LOOONG summer....

The girl and I said "see ya later" to the boys yesterday. Our house in FL closes on the 15th and the house in GA has not gone under contract so the girl and I will try to keep up a furnished home for potential buyers to view until it is sold. I think the hardest part about yesterday was when the boys were pulling away, my overly emotional and dramatic daughter looked up at me with wet eyes and a shivery chin and said quietly, "This is the worst day of my life". I could only reply... "Yep, probably". The only other time she ever said that was in an angry way when she got in trouble so it was sad yet sweet all at the same time. I know it is only temporary but we sure are going to miss our best friends.... I cannot get the song from Pink, Please Don't Leave Me, out of my head. *sigh*

We had a showing today which is good, but they were in and out in 8 minutes. The feedback was wishy-washy but the realtor said she LOVED the house and will be bringing another client to see it hopefully this weekend. At least the realtor liked it enough to bring someone else! I hope that means something.

The girl and I slept on couches last night for 2 reasons. First, it was a novelty for her... Second, I had the entire upstairs done for the showing before we even woke this morning!!!! SCORE! And I let her have ice cream for lunch.... Yep that is right... call DEFACS :P

Tomorrow I have to run around like a chicken with my head cut off correcting a lawyers mistake. I also promised the girl I would take her to the movies to see a Tale of Despereaux. I am taking our neighbor girl (teenager) as well. Should be a fun day!

OH! And my phone is starting to self destruct. I looked at the screen today and the screen spontaneously decided to change color.... but only in parts.... LOVEly...

Is it August yet?

American Girl

I had never heard of American Girl dolls (geared toward 8-12 year olds) until a few years ago when it moved into Northpoint Mall. Now, I hear about them quite a bit. There was even an American Girl event at my son's school the last couple years and every single girl in first grade (about 40 girls) had one. Keep in mind these dolls are about $100 in price.

On May 31, 2009 American Girl is debuting a new doll in their historical line. Her name is Rebecca Rubin. She is from 1914 and is a Jewish, Russian-American immigrant from the lower east side. This interests me, why? Well, My husband is Jewish and we are raising our children to be Jewish. OH! And I have a little 5 year old girl who loves... you got it.... DOLLS! They have apparently been working on this doll for roughly 9 years making sure they didn't piss anybody off by making any stereotypical remarks in her books (they come with a storybook series) or by making her features too... stereotypically Jewish... COME ON! They teetered on what color her HAIR would be... Auburn is too atypical, brown is too typical... OK! How about brown with auburn highlights! BINGO! I guess they got slammed a while back for the African American doll being a slave. Well... they are historical dolls right? Are we to forget our history just because our history contains awful things? NO! We learn from them and move on. Why wouldn't 8 year old girls learn the history of what African American girls in that day and age went through? Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I see things all backwards. I suppose it is possible.

The First Goodbyes

My mother joined us for the boy’s birthday this year. This was her final trip to Atlanta as the impending move to Tampa draws closer. While she was here we visited Zoo Atlanta for the last time. We have had a membership for about 5-6 years and since my mother got us the first 3-4 years of our membership, it seemed fitting that she be there for the last. We visited the brand new baby panda, Xi Lan (Atlanta’s Joy), and his sister Mei Lan (Beautiful Atlanta) and of course their parents Lun Lun and Yang Yang. We paid our respects to the Elephant house where Dottie used to roam. We saw the elusive leopard. We only saw it one other time in the 5-6 years we were members! The children climbed the rock wall one last time and we all rode the train… one last time… We were sad to hear that 2 days after our membership was due to expire, the Parakeet Adventure was due to open.

Another goodbye (more like a “see you later”) was to our best friends who moved to New Jersey. Their whole life is being flipped around right now and I wish I could help. I keep them in my thoughts every day and hope the dust settles soon for them.

Our realtor for our Atlanta home suggested that we write a blurb with some memories and what we will miss about the home. An hour and many tears later this is what was made:

“Nine years ago the man of my dreams built me the house of my dreams. He was literally here for every day of construction. The first memory I have was meeting a neighbor while we signed the contract to purchase. She and her husband still live in our cul-de-sac. She was pregnant with her first child who is now 9 years old. We have been able to watch him grow right along with his little sister who is now 7. We met our best friends at a backyard Cinco de Mayo party that we hosted. They have since moved 3 times but are as close to us as any family members. I remember coming home from our wedding reception and parading around in the cul-de-sac in our wedding attire and being greeted by our neighbors with hugs and congratulations. Both of our children were born while we were here and the neighbors in our cul-de-sac greeted us immediately when we came home from the hospital. I will miss the love and kindness by our neighbors who not only threw us a baby shower and decorated our front door for the arrivals of our newborns, but also brought us a meal every night for 2 weeks each time we grew our family. I will miss the original “playgroup” of which 5 of the 8 children still remain. I will miss the annual 4th of July parade that we have participated in the last 8 years and will also miss later in the day when every neighbor comes out of their homes at dusk and congregates their chairs in the streets to see the fireworks at Wills Park. I will miss the Association BBQ to kick off the opening of the pool every summer and the monthly “Girl’s Night Out” dates. I will miss having the babysitter 2 homes down who we watched grow from elementary school. As our first home, it holds many endearing memories and my only wish is it will hold many more to come.”

I sent this to many of my family and friends that I thought would enjoy it. What I got back was a flood of responses with THEIR memories and what they will miss. And the tears came again.

There will be many more goodbyes before our departure and I do not pretend it will be easy. But as I sit here at my new Honda dealership in Tampa waiting for my car to be finished I know this is my new home and I am happy. I will enjoy being close to family once again. I will LOVE being near the beach…. Again… I will soon fall in love with my new kitchen, and pool, and I will make new friends AND get to keep the ones I have already. Now, someone buy my Atlanta house ;)

I have a 7 year old....

Tomorrow is the boy's birthday. How did I get to be a woman with a 7 year old? It seems like just yesterday he was teething and now he is losing his second tooth! For those of you that do not know already, the time goes by too quickly. Do not put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Make sure you hug your child(ren) every day, more than 5 times, and make sure they know how very special they are. They are your legacy. They are the most perfect extension of you in the flesh. Treat them as such, even when it is the most difficult to do so.

Destiny...

I got into a conversation with an old friend of mine the other day. This person isn't just any friend. He took me to my Senior Ball (which was one of the romantic things I can remember from my life). My WHOLE family considered him to be part of their family for a long time and I broke his heart because I was young and stupid. My whole family expected me to marry him someday... Little did they know...

This story starts about 10 years ago. My boyfriend, who is now my husband, moved away to Georgia while I stayed behind in California. He could not bear to move me away from my family (who were all in California) solely for him. He worried that I would resent him if our relationship did not work out so we decided to break up and remain friends. While he was gone, he and I both dated other people. I decided to revisit the affection I had for my old friend mentioned above. He and I had gotten close, again, after Ed left for Georgia. One night, we went to a club with my boss. My boss at the time was a very cool guy... Still is :) My friend danced with another girl and I spent the whole night upset and crying to my boss. In my mind, I remembered the night I broke his heart. I could remember it so vividly. I will never, ever, forget the look on his face that night. The night at the club I "knew" he would never let me in his heart again so I stopped trying. The next day my friend and I had a fight about the night before and I didn't speak to him again until after I eventually moved to Georgia. We never talked about that night, though, and until a few days ago I assumed everything was as I saw it. Come to find out it was not. In movies, there is usually a point where a decision is made or where the plot becomes definitive. The night at the club was that for me, but I did not see that until the other day. Had clear lines of communications been had, destiny would have played out very differently for my life and the lives of those now in mine.

I do not believe in soul mates in the traditional sense, if at all. If soul mates exist, I think it is our children who are our soul mates. The powers at be would have the ability to "plant the seed" so to speak rather than letting destiny guide you towards a single, solitary love. Let's examine the traditional idea of a soul mate, one person for each person. What if your soul mate dies? What if that person is halfway across the world and doesn't know how to communicate with you? The concept is flawed. But, destiny? I can see destiny being a reality. I cannot believe that the cosmic world we live in has no plan for humanity. I believe we have a direction but not a clear-cut answer. I do believe things happen for a reason, even the horrible. Had things been different that night at the club with my friend, my life might be drastically different. The 2 beautiful beings I helped create would not exist. I would not have the best mother-in-law in the whole world (though I would still have the best mother ;)). I would not have a man with whom I laugh at the stupidest things like an 18k gold plated feeyokioke. (That was an inside joke that no one will get but us LOL) I would not have my Muppet, nor would he have his Peege. I love my life. I love being Ed's wife. I love my children. I love every molecule of our quirky little family. I am truly happy. Thank you GOD for destiny!